adjective
Delicious in a way that will not last, resulting in a desire to continue consuming even when one is fully sated.
I’m kinda full, but I know this milkshake is too ephemelicious for me to stop drinking it. I could put it in the freezer but it wouldn’t be the same.
noun
A person who deliberately engages in selfish behavior that aids them less than it inconveniences unrelated parties.
Ugh, I hate people who don’t return shopping carts and just leave them in parking spaces. It’s because of those grimmelmucks that it’s so hard to find a place to park at this store.
noun phrase
A promise made to the self or to others that cannot be considered binding due to being made while mentally incompetent due to fatigue, drunkenness, illness, or other altered states of consciousness.
I know I promised you a pony last week, but come on - I was running a hundred-and-one degree fever! That was clearly a drunkard’s vow.
noun
One who is not an extrovert, but adopts the extroverted lifestyle for social and professional benefits.
Look at Amir shmoozing over there. He’s been such a metrovert ever since he went on Outgoing Eye for the Shy Guy.
noun
The completely unimportant activities one occupies oneself with when it’s too late at night to do anything useful but one does not want to sleep.
All my friends were asleep, and I should have been too, but I wasn’t looking forward to the morning, so I kept busy with Reddit and various other insomnutia.
noun
A mixture of bad real reasons and more noble rationalizations to justify a course of action, such that it’s not clear what the true motivation is.
By the time I finished explaining why I couldn’t possibly attend Sven’s book club, I had rattled off such a convoluted excusophenia that I couldn’t remember which reasons were true anymore.
noun
The state of being hungry, but not for what’s in front of you.
Ben sat in his cubicle, regarding the sandwich he had packed for lunch. It was the same sandwich he had every day, but… today it only inspired gastroennui. Deciding it was time for a change, he stood and grabbed his coat, making way for the exit to find a restaurant.
noun phrase
The disappointment or anger that comes from the delay or aversion of a crisis for which one had gone to special effort to prepare.
Wait, the quiz is tomorrow, not today? But I studied all night! Talk about preparation frustration.
adjective
So beautiful that it must be shared.
I had to bring you here. This view is too mazafey to keep to myself.
adjective
Causing agitation due to being associated unpleasantly with waking up, such as the beep of an alarm clock or a sudden increase in brightness.
I jumped in my seat a little when I heard Frank’s ringtone - it’s joltish to me, because it’s the same sound I use for my alarm.
noun
The desire to purchase something knowing full well that you will only enjoy it for about five minutes.
I know I’d get bored of that new Sim City game right away, but for some reason I want to buy it anyway. I have total buyer’s premorse.
noun
The increase in creativity that comes from occupying oneself with mindlessly habitual behavior.
I know they say you get your best ideas in the shower, but mowing the lawn can be quite a drudgesperation too.
noun
A song strongly associated with a certain phase of the listener’s past.
Smash Mouth’s “All Star” is such an aural anchor. I hear it and suddenly it’s 1999 again - and I realize how long it’s been since I talked to the people I used to hang out with then.
noun
An intense emotion experienced in a dream without a justified cause.
I had this dream that I came up with an amazingly beautiful song, and was so proud of myself - but when I woke up, I realized the tune was nothing special and it was just a dreamotion.
verb phrase
To isolate oneself via blocking sensory input from the external world.
When I don’t feel like dealing with people, I just put on my sunglasses and headphones and solitune them out.
adjective
Deliberately framed to emphasize the best aspects and minimize the worst, in a way that is still honest and authentic.
During a job interview, you shouldn’t misrepresent yourself, but you should present the optima facie version of yourself. Same goes for first dates.
noun
A state of having conflicting physiological needs.
Man, last night I skipped dinner and stayed up late studying. It was total bodywar - I was too hungry to sleep and too tired to eat.
noun
An ineffectual action performed to reduce tension by providing an illusion of control. Often involves the use of a placebo button.
I know it’s just a futility blanket, but I can’t help hammering on the “walk” button when I’m at a busy intersection waiting for the light to change.
adjective
Spicy to a degree that may or may not offend the listener.
I’m digging this curry, but I’m not sure you’d like it - it’s cryptospicy.
verb (intransitive)
To make choices that fit a chosen theme but worsen one’s tactical position.
Henry knew he was flavorcapping by building an all-female RPG party, but he saw no reason to dungeon-crawl with dudes.