Gerald thought he might feel guilty for turning down his coworker’s invitation to go rock climbing, but as he said, “Thanks, no, I’m just gonna go home and watch a movie,” the only thing he felt was a pleasant sense of comfordice. He’d broaden his horizons some other time.

I used to know a guy with the pseudonick “Ace.” I don’t think it ever caught on, though - when I ran into him years later on Facebook, I saw everyone was calling him “Giggles” instead.

For the longest time, Elsie had avoided cooking anything more complicated than a microwave dinner, convinced that she would set things on fire if she tried to use the oven. When she finally gave it a try, she realized the worry over the oven had been an avoistil all along - the oven was easy to use and she had a hard time remembering why she’d been scared in the first place.

Checking the weather forecast before heading out in the morning, Jana saw that there was a 70% chance of rain. “Well, that’s a poorcentage,” she thought. “I better bring my umbrella.”

Some weekends, Tarou was too tired to do anything but stay home and relax. He knew he needed this recovery time, but that didn’t prevent the idler’s remorse from settling in on Sunday evening when he had done nothing of value and knew he’d soon be returning to work.

I used to have to specifically decide on a borengar pretty frequently - bring a book to the DMV, or a Game Boy to the dentist’s waiting room, or a music player on long car rides. Nowadays I just always have my smartphone with me, so there’s no need.

Karla frowned, looking at her empty plate. “Lucy, did you steal my danish again?” she asked.
“Yes, and you’ll never catch me! Ah ha!” Lucy declared twisiously, before ducking behind a filing cabinet and vorping away.

Carole had a habit of accumulating mostly empty water bottles on her desk. She had developed a ritual for consolidating them at the end of the day, lifting them up to eye level and mad scientist pouring one into the other. She only cackled while doing it if no one was around.

A two-handed sword that increases mana regeneration, a crossbow that gives +2 to face-punching… these goblins are just dropping futiloot! What did I do to offend the Random Number God?

I was walking while texting this morning. I thought I had the discrashion under control - until I walked right into the closed glass door.

I don’t like to alterneat. I finish each part of my meal before I start the next - first the steak, then the potatoes, then the green beans.

I know I should have breakfast every day, but I can never talk myself into making that sleeptrade. I end up dozing until the last minute and then rushing to get out of the house in time.

Hey, will you stop watching me work? You’re giving me keyboard anxiety! I’m making all kinds of typos now.

Sten thought he’d long since gotten rid of all the crimpopsies from his last relationship, but one morning he was looking through his old text messages, and suddenly there were his old chats with Tara.

I didn’t know Ruth was a tellyquacker until I watched The Big Lebowski at her place. She called out all her favorite scenes while we were watching.

When I was younger, my mother had really bad spectator’s curse. Whenever I was watching a movie in the living room and she’d stop by to see what it was like, it was invariably during the movie’s one and only sex scene.

I haven’t done a thing today, but it’s okay - I have the flu, which is totally a license to laze.

Carmine looked at the screen in frustration. His current draft of the chapter of the novel he was working on had so many flaws. With a sigh, he selected all of the text and hit DELETE. He had passed the nuke threshold; it was time to start fresh.

Lately whenever Twitter is in the news, it’s because some celebrity, politician, or executive blogfartted something offensive and now a bunch of folks want their head.

Now that the Twilight craze is dying down, vampires aren’t as cool anymore and we’re ready for a new fonster. What do you think it’ll be? I’m hoping chupacabra.